Let me ask you: Have you ever felt invalidated by a practitioner?
I know I have, and I've found over the years that this is a pretty common experience for lots of us.
And truthfully, I find it to be one of the most damaging things that a provider can do.
This has happened a few times to me in various ways, but this week was a doozy...I actually had a practitioner, who I've been seeing for awhile now, tell me that what I'm experiencing (and what I went to her to help treat) isn't a big deal because 1) she didn't believe what I was describing was "actually" what was going on, and 2) her husband is an oncologist and he deals with the "real" bad stuff.
WHAT.
Friend, if a provider (or family member, or friend, or stranger) has ever communicated something like this to you, I am so deeply sorry that this has been your experience.
Whatever it is that you are experiencing is valid. It is real. It is your own unique lived experience, and your reality is just that: real.
As a client or patient seeking help, I find this sort of invalidation incredibly deflating. Andas a provider, I feel an immense anger when I see a fellow healing practitioner engage in this sort of treatment...because I know that consumers of healing services receive this sort of thing much more often than they should (and once is too many).
When clients come to me, one of the things that they can guarantee they will never get from me is invalidation. In fact, a part of what we do together is the exact opposite—this work is about getting to know what you're feeling on a more intimate level, trusting your instincts and inner knowing, and honoring the realness of what it is you're going through, so that you can heal and grow and feel more healthy and aligned.
Just because someone else has experienced something different than you doesn't mean that it invalidates your own feelings.
Grief, pain, stuckness, discomfort, unease...these things are not quantifiable. And yet, how often are these things misused in order to downplay someone else's experiences? Or how often are they just discounted all together as "not real," just because someone doesn't understand?
Whatever it is that your body, your mind, your heart experiences is valid, and it has nothing to do with what anyone else may or may not have lived through.
You can feel thankful for what you have without dismissing your challenges just because someone else might "have it worse."
You don't need to question the reality of what you're feeling, even when it might be difficult to verbalize, to describe, to quantify. Your reality is valid, it is true, it is real, apart from how anyone else might understand it.
And you can seek help and healing for something that maybe others have told you "isn't a big deal"...because if it impacts you, then it's a big fucking deal, and it's worth the time and energy it may take to address it. End of story.
If you've ever felt dismissed by a practitioner because they didn't understand, or they didn't believe you, or they didn't know how to help...I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that this has ever been something you've had to go through. I have felt that, too, and it can make it challenging to trust new providers moving forward.
Please know that in this work with me, you can always trust that I will hold space for you—all of you—and that I will never invalidate your experiences or be dismissive of your own unique reality.
Whatever it is that you're feeling, I promise to always honor the sacredness of this life you're living...and I will be here to remind you that every bit of it is valid.
Your experiences are valid