I've lived in LA for over 3 years now.
There are so many good things about living here. The weather is delightful, the mountains and ocean and desert are magical, and this is definitely the ideal city to birth a business out of nothing, because it is a city full of dreamers and non-standard work schedules.
And I also still desperately miss Chicago.
It seems that no matter how long I live in LA, I will continue to get deep pangs for the city I called home for the decade prior to moving to LA. Even though I'm not *technically* from Chicago, it's still the city I name when people ask where I'm from.
Chicago will always be my home, in a way that no other place ever can be.
For awhile, I kept waiting to not miss Chicago anymore. I thought that it was some kind of indicator of how established I was in LA...as though a lack of grieving the loss of one home meant I could finally feel settled into another.
But the thing I've been realizing lately is that, really, that's complete bullshit.
I can miss Chicago and appreciate LA at the same time.
Chicago can hold a unique place in my heart that LA doesn't need to take over and fill. And that doesn't mean that I made the wrong choice by leaving the place I call home to pursue dreams in another.
I can both grieve what is gone and cherish what is present.
The "both/and" of it all is an essential part of fully living.
Embracing nuance and complexity and seemingly competing feelings is all a part of what life is...and in order to most wholly nourish ourselves and our life's journey, we must let go of needing things to be only one thing or the other.
Where might you benefit from more fully accepting the both/and?
Where might you be leaning into black-and-white, compartmentalized thinking, when it might feel more aligned to be willing to reside in the grey?
Where might you be willing to hold seemingly contradictory things at the same time?
And how might a more embodied way of being alive support you in accepting, honoring, celebrating all of that complexity and nuance?
Certainly, this can be uncomfortable. Hard. Undesirable at times.
And also, it can be powerful, and beautiful, and a way to more fully honor all the parts of you.
A dismissal of the both/and might allow us a sense of comfort, certainty.
It also keeps us from being most fully ourselves.
Allowing space for all the feelings and experiences means more expansiveness, freedom, and connection.
And, from my experience, the more you lean into it, the more natural it becomes.
If you need any support along the journey, know that I'm here...and know that I'd be delighted to hear about the ways you're observing the "both/and" in your life, if you feel open to sharing with me.