I had another blog post scheduled for today, full of some simple ideas to support your body and spirit as we enter into this season of the year.
And it'll still get posted, maybe later this week, maybe next week.
But today, I knew that I couldn't send a "business as usual" message.
Honestly, so much is always going on, "business as usual" is rarely what feels possible (or necessary).
How am I supposed to talk about things like self-care when I'm just feeling so much rage and pain in response to what's going on?
(Actually, self-care—real self-care—is super relevant as we feel all these things in our bodies...but there's a lot that can feel counterintuitive about it at first blush.)
Hearing the news yesterday about the shooting at the LGBTQ+ nightclub in Colorado Springs sent me out of my body.
All day, I went in and out of numbness and feeling.
It was the worst as I went to bed...sometimes, it's these silent moments of rest, when there's less distraction and noise, that we can finally really feel what, maybe, we worked to not feel all that day.
So, today, I want to share a few things.
First, I want to be really clear about why this is so relevant to my work and to these letters I send to you.
My work is about embodiment. About collective care. About abolishing binaries, capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy.
It's about supporting clients (and everyone in my community!) in feeling well in ways that maybe you don't always see in the influencer wellness space or within our systems that can cause so much harm.
And these events, when they occur, can absolutely impact our wellness.
The news of harm, especially when it affects the larger community you're a part of, can cause pain and disconnection.
So, I first want to share a few things that I've been processing since yesterday. If these were some of your feelings too, please know you're not alone.
1. This event occurred in Colorado Springs, the home base of Focus on the Family, James Dobson's love child that preaches "family values" and purity culture. They also provide an incredible amount of "education" about the "dangers" of the LGBTQ+ community...so much that it would be laughable, if only it wasn't so harmful.
2. Politicians who have been spewing vitriol about the LGBTQ+ community can keep their "thoughts and prayers." People who have been actively trying to create policies that directly harm the LGBTQ+ community, telling their constituents (and anyone that would listen) that trans people and drag queens are grooming children, calling them depraved, dangerous...these things matter, and they're not isolated from what happened at Club Q.
3. Two patrons at Club Q deescalated the situation that night. Others offered first aid. As I've seen reflected in many online posts since then: Police do not keep us safe, we keep us safe. Collective care means we can all become helpers in the ways we're able: deescalation, first aid, organization among chaos, love and support...these are just a few things that can keep communities safe and cared for.
4. LGBTQ+ communities are often not safe, and these clubs have long provided a space of safety, love, and joy. Harm caused to these spaces is intentional. It says "There is no place you are allowed to feel safe, to feel joy."
5. I have immense privilege as a person in the queer community who happens to be in a relationship with a cisman—not being fully seen is often my protection. It's important that we are always curious about the intersections of our privilege and oppression...and please know that if this is difficult, that is ok, it's normal. Find your communities to safely process this in.
For the rest of this letter, I want to offer some simple grounding practices today, if you, too, have been feeling like embodying or coping with all of this has been painful or challenging.
Use your senses. Take a few moments to pause, notice, and name: 3 colors, 3 smells, 3 sounds.
Temperature. Hold a mug of something warm in your hands. Place a cold compress on your forehead. Focus on how it feels.
Movement. Stretch. Walk. Roll your shoulders or ankles.
Breathe. Breathe slowly in through your nose, hold the breath for a couple of counts, and release the breath fully through your mouth. Stop if this causes distress and return to it later.
Connect. Connect with your safe people. Share your feelings or a laugh, take a walk together, whatever you need.
A reminder today: You are not alone. If you need to connect, I want to offer my support. Email me, text me (my number's listed below!), whatever feels best.
You are loved. You are a delight. You are worthy of care, of nourishment, of liberation from all that causes harm.
May we keep creating that world together.